Back to Foundation!

Remember that Mentos advertisement in which they show how previously apes where slaves dominated my donkeys and how the ape got evolved into man thus transferring the power of domination to man and making donkeys the slave for eternity. With a touch of creativity and witty humor this advertisement shows what a long way man has come.

I woke up in the morning hearing strange voices. Were they even human? They sounded as if an animal had entered the body of a human and was using his vocal cords to communicate! I could here the noise of some two people fighting (actually bursting their tonsils out!) and abusing each other like total maniacs. I couldn’t even understand what they were saying! Could they even understand each other? I doubt. Was it the pace in which they were talking? No it was something else. I slowly opened my eyes.

Oh hell they’re naked! And dirty! And gross!
Yuck!
What the F*** are they doing in my room!
Daaaadddy!
Wait a second. Is this even my room?
Where the hell am I?
And what am I doing on grass? Where is my bed? My pillow??
What am I doing in this weird place with two naked (no actually naked and ugly, sleazy and gross) humans (I suppose) fighting like hooligans!
Please tell me this is a dream.

GRRRRRRRR………………

What was that noise?
Or was it even a noise? It sounded more like a roar of an animal to me.
Shut up Simone! You’re loosing it. What is an animal going to do here annnnn……
GRRRRR…..
Bloody hell! (Couldn’t believe my eyes)
Is that a bear? Or a man? Or a man cum bear?
Lord! Why are you punishing me? What sort of nightmare is this?
Okay MR.WHOEVER MAKES NIGHTMARES you’ve done your job! You have scared the hell out of me! Totally! Happy? Now please get me the hell out of here!

Okay now why is that man cum bear cum manic staring at me like that. Okay its coming close. Is he going to hurt me? Of course not! It’s (whatever that thing is) not even real. It’s just a character used to freak me out in this never-ending nightmare of mine.
This cant be real. Obviously can’t be real.
Okay its coming closer.
Okay its nails are longer than mine.
And looks more dangerous!
Now why is he growling like my dog?
Is it my dog? Of course it is! I should have known. Someone has cast a spell on her!
“Dinky sweetie who did this to you darling?”

GRRRRRR…..GRRRR….GRRRR…

Oh hell! This one’s either not Dinky or she’s gone totally crazy! Run!

I ran like I never ran before. I could still hear the roaring and I could still feel the creature running behind me. I could feel sweat tingling down from my forehead.

Don’t you dare turn behind! Run! This could be the last time you may ever get to run all your life!

I have no idea how long was I running or how tired I actually was. Finally my feet couldn’t take me anymore. I collapsed! It took me sometime to wake up. I turned back reluctantly. Thank God the beast was no where at sight. I hope it remains that way!

Okay now let’s get thinking girl! Where was I last night? Okay I had gone for a party. Went for a long drive with all my friends. Blew up 500 bucks on petrol. Came back home really late. Mom was yelling ( the same old thing) `coz I forgot to turn off the lights and the fans before leaving the house. Had a bath. Went off to sleep. And now I’m here! Strange! Very strange! What went wrong?
I was walking on like forever not knowing where my footsteps were taking me. My feet were killing me. And the sun was hotter than ever was. I was so missing my umbrella. And the rickshaws, which we usually curse for being a pain in the ass, were at this point a dream I was longing for. The last thing I wanted at this point of time was to encounter another unknown beast. But deep down inside I guess someone in me knew that the beast I saw was no unknown. It was a man! Man as in….like a Stone Age man!
That’s it!
This is where I am!
STONE AGE!
Wow! This is amazing! Wait till Dalreen hears this! She’ll be so damn jealous. And Julie will be off to writing an article on it before I even finish telling her how the enormous beast chased me and how heroically I escaped. Naomi will think I’ve gone nuts and Mario will hide under covers out of envy! Muahahah (evil laugh)
But will I ever get to meet these people?
How should I get back?

Seconds passes into minutes and minutes into hours. And now I was hungry. Like really hungry! I missed my Maggie noodles. Having Maggie by my side cooking was so bloody easy and here I had to hunt for my own food like animals. I Dint even know what the time was. God how people used to survive in Stone Age! They don’t even have a TV! Wait a second they don’t even know what’s a TV all about. I wonder how many years and how many it hands must have taken to bring the world from Stone Age to Computer age! And we tend to take all the stuff available at our disposal for granted.
Suddenly I heard a familiar noise.
GRRRR…
Oh hell it’s the same man cum bear cum monster.
He found me!
Run!
I was too tired.
My feet were numb.
Could move an inch. Still I tried to get up. Finally the bastard cornered me at the end of the wall of the cave.
Oh no I am going to die!
I’m so gonna die!
There’s no escape now. I should have taken Mario’s advice of keeping Pepper spray with me at all times. I guess even while sleeping! Now no use repenting, I’m going to die for sure.
Will I be buried? Or will my half eaten body be kept here (disrespectfully!) to rot and for vultures to eat the remains. Ofcource the later is going to happen. I doubt these guys even know what coffins are!
Bubye Mom. Bye Dad.
I helplessly watched as the beast bent to take a leap over me. I closed my eyes because no matter how brave who can see death with open eyes!
I waited. And waited. And waited! And nothing happened. What was taking the beast so long. Did my Prince Charming come on his horse to rescue me? I slowly opened my eyes. I could see my ceiling fan. HUH?? Okay that’s not my Prince Charming. Wow now they have a fan in Stone Age! Wait a second, they even have a ceiling!
I felt something soft under me. Then it stuck me. I was safe and sound in my room. The beast was far away gone in my dreams. Rather Nightmare!
And if this nightmare has thought me anything it is to be way thankful to our forefathers and never take things around us for granted!