......

She sat on the bed staring into never-ending space. Her brown eyes which at one point of time used to sparkle with bliss had turned red and were covered with dark circles. They spoke a thousand words. Her face so pale, her body so lifeless! Her whole personality seemed to have blurred into a submissive non-entity.
Whatever had happen to the ‘rebel’, the guiding beacon of our batch? I couldn’t see her like this anymore.
I finally shook her with as much strength as I could muster.
“Wake up Sarah! It’s not your turn to cry. You’ve already cried enough. Now he will cry.”
Was she even listening to what I was saying? She looked around the manicured lawn. The day when she had stepped into this house for the first time flashed before her eyes. This place looked just the same. The only difference was that at that point of time it looked beautiful to her eyes and she was totally clueless about what was going to hit her in the next few days.
He was a Rajput- the same caste as hers. Young, attractive, well educated and prosperous, her parents couldn’t have had found a better companion for their only beloved daughter. I still remember the day she came to tell us about him.
“Maaaaaaan!..He`s gorgeous!” we all envied her!...today I couldn’t think of words to say to her to make my best friend feel a little better. I hugged her and we both wept together.
The first few days of her marriage were like heaven. He made her feel like a princess. So what it took to transform the prince into a beast- just a few glasses of liquor! She didn’t
say anything when he broke the glass bottle on the floor, nor did she say anything when he slapped her right across her face for trying to stop him from drinking from another bottle. She quietly sobbed in her room after cleaning the floor off the glass pieces. The next day he even came and apologized. He promised it would never happen again. But I guess promises are meant to be broken. The second time although she somehow managed to hide the scars, what could stop the tears from flowing from those beautiful brown eyes. I couldn’t stop myself from abusing the bastard as I was listening to the horrifying story told in a monotone so unlike the vibrant voice I remembered so well. We had all advised her to leave him ASAP. But my dear friend was hit by the fear of the society. What would her parents think?
The next time she dint tell us when he threw boiling water on her for forgetting to put the gas off. Nor did she give us a hint about it even when he kept her for the whole night out of the house for coming home late by an hour. Then one fine day unable to bear the pain and the torture she broke down over the phone.
“This is it Sarah, I’m not taking no for an answer. You’re leaving this hell hole and coming with me right now”
Her bags were packed. I held her hand to support her (she could barely stand). Finally she stood up. This time there was no turning back. She carried her suitcase on her own and walked with me towards the door. As we were passing the door she stopped for a second and glanced at her wedding picture. She was this pretty, healthy and happy bride. She had indeed suffered a lot. For a moment I thought she had fallen weak but then she took the photo frame and threw it on the ground with all her strength just the way he had thrown the bottle of liquor in front of her face. The frame broke into pieces and the tiny glass pieces spread all across the floor just the way the glass pieces of the bottle of liquor was scattered.Then without turning back even for a second she held my hand and walked outside, stronger than ever before. She was now ready to face the whole world with open eyes for she had done nothing wrong. Who guessed that this little bag of bones still had it in her left to battle her destiny like a tigress and emerge a winner?

P.S: This is not a true story. But it is dedicated to thousands of women who continue to bear the anguish of their husbands and still remain quite for the fear of the society. It is time we should learn to come out of our closets and stand up for ourselves for respect only comes to those who respect themselves.

Marriage:Promise of Purity or Slavery to the Society?

Yesterday evening I and my friends had met up at our usual hang out place where we meet up almost everyday talking about everything we can fit into the little time we get to spend with each other. So it happened that a friend of mine, Mario and I happen to have a talk rather argument on the topic of arrange marriages and love marriages. It was strange how a mere statement leaded to such a huge heated debate which lasted for almost an hour. I clearly mentioned I would never want to do an arrange marriage because in my opinion the very thought of getting married and living your life with a total stranger is only a little less scary than death! However dear Mario was adamant that it is not always that arrange marriages happen in such a rush and today even in countries like India people think more practically in the case of arrange marriages. This actually put me to think a lot about this issue.
I always had certain questions in my mind. Do we genuinely think that if a person is not married that person is weird or is not a part of the society? Are we that desperate to get married that even if it means taking our chances and getting married to someone we don’t love?
Talking about love marriages they usually tend to offer more independence and freedom as opposed to arranged marriages where the boy or the girl is chosen by the parents and generally involve a lot of pressure from parents which even if not physically can be emotionally. They also tend to offer a lot of comfort level since before the couple tries the knot they fall in love with each other probably after a long time of getting to know each other. This helps them to explore both the good and bad side of the person they are with. On the other hand for a couple who’s marriage is arranged by their parents it may take a longer time to develop that comfort level and understanding with their partner. Also the fact that you’re marrying the person you are so much in love with, will give you that perfect satisfaction and contentment when the couple finally take their wedding vows. However, the whole idea of “arranging” sounds a state in which a person doesn’t even have the confidence in himself or herself that maybe one day he or she may meet their soul mate. So here love marriage scores higher than an arrange marriage. (no offence Mario!)
Compromise is said to be the foundations of marriage. In the case of a love marriage the level of compromise is much lesser as compared to an arrange marriage since two people in a love marriage get married or rather even fall in love only after getting to know each other. However in the case of an arrange marriage the level of compromise rises up due to less of understanding each other before marriage and preconceived notations and expectations about each other.
Yet there also exist cases where the compromise factor might work wonders for certain couples tied by an arrange marriages as compared to love marriages where the couple may not want to compromise for anything leading to fights.
On the other hand not all love marriages have happy endings. There are times they also fail leading to pain and dejection. A person tends to think that something is wrong in his or her decision making ability which leads to lack of confidence and fear of commitment. It is also possible that an individual’s parents do not approve of his or her decision which may lead to family disputes finally lead to isolation and frustration.
Now coming back to arrange marriages, they tend to offer more security as compared to love marriages because everything including the family background, caste, age, qualifications etc are taken into consideration and are checked, sometimes even rechecked since parents tend to take decisions with maturity and proper judgment while looking for a suitable partner for their children. Also in the case of arrange marriages the couple enjoy a great deal of financial support as well as support in making decisions. So even if the marriage tomorrow doesn’t work out they always have someone to blame. Even in cases of disputes between the couple their respective families are more than ready to come and help them clear out their problems. Conversely this may not be the case in a love marriage because it involves the independent decision of an individual and if the marriage fails then he may have no one to lay on for support.
However this certainly does not mean that arrange marriages are all that rosy and the ideal way to get married. They also have their own black potholes. In an arrange marriage it is very obvious that parents will be looking out for someone who is good looking as opposed to love marriages where it very much possible to fall in love with some who is not blessed with an exterior beauty as well. This leads to people to have an inferiority complex as to the way the look. Boys and girls who are not blessed with good looks or who are over weight tend to have a feeling that they will never land up getting married. In countries like India, at times arrange marriages also give rise to evil practices like dowry system, matching of horoscopes etc. Then again arrange marriages in spite of the watchfulness again are as risky as love marriages are and may not necessarily be promising which also leads a person to the same stage of isolation and segregation.
Mostly people tend to go for an arrange marriage because they have till now not found their match and are scared of facing the so –called society as a single person. Many women cling on to even abusive relationships only of the fear to face the so-called society!
At the end of the day what people fail to realize is that every person is the ruler of himself and every decision he takes should be based only and only on what he or she wants in life rather than to give in to the pressures of the society.
So finally do you believe in happy endings? Go make your own. Don’t wait for the society to write your destiny because whether love or arranged the only truth about marriage is that marriage requires falling in love everyday, but with the same person.